How to give constructive criticism

Constructive criticism? What does that even mean?

(Give helpful feedback! Image found here. Original video.)

"[Constructive criticism is] critique or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions" (Dictionary.com). That basically means that you aim to help someone with something they are having trouble with and explain how they can improve, rather than just pointing out what they are doing wrong. It is best to let them know both what they are doing well, and what needs some work. For example, if you are having a particularly hard time with your T-stops, would it be helpful if someone skated up to you and said "Wow, you really suck at T-stops" or "You do know that you're not doing that right, right?" The answer is no. You may think that that is a silly example and that no one in the derby community would say something like that, but you would be surprised at how many times I have heard those comments on the track. It is horrible, it destroys self-confidence, and it honestly isn't helping anybody.  So, what can you do to help?

1.) For starters, make sure your tone isn't super patronizing or condescending, as that will likely only make the skater that you are helping feel worse about themselves. You are their teammate, their equal, not their superior. You are not trying to prove that you are better than them, you are trying to help them.
2.) Do not get frustrated if they are not understanding what you are explaining. Getting frustrated with someone who is having trouble with something will make them want to stop trying all together and give up. The same goes for making fun of them for not understanding. Remember that people often get embarrassed when they can't do something and have to get help. Encourage them to speak up if they aren't understanding what you are explaining. When it is time for them to try it out for themselves, ask them if they would rather you stay with them to continue coaching them through it and troubleshooting as they go, or if they would prefer to be on their own for a little while and try to work it out for themselves.
3.) Explain the problem. Show the skater what they should be doing, compare it to what they are doing, and ask them if they can see the difference. Make sure that after you do this you also explain the difference, otherwise this can be seen as merely pointing out their flaw, and you are no longer being helpful with your criticism. It is also important to explain how it should feel if they are doing it right and if they are doing it wrong. Should they be skating on their inside edges or outside edges? Should their feet be pointing inwards, outwards, or forwards? Should their balance be focused on one foot or both? Talk to them and have them explain what exactly they are having trouble with.
 
4.) Be empathetic. This really is key, because it can help you, as the criticizer, to actually give helpful feedback. Remember what it was like when you were standing in their skates. Remember what helped you to finally understand how to fix what you were doing wrong, and try teaching it to them.
5.) Finally, give them time. They most likely will not get it right away. They need time to experiment, and figure out                (Finn from Adventure Time teaches empathy)
 what works for them. Make sure you let them know that if they ever need help or have questions about what you have just taught them, that they are more than welcome to approach you, or introduce them to someone else who is able to help them.

Constructive criticism is a topic that I will most likely be touching back on, as I find it crucial to derby and everyday life. Too often I'll hear people giving negative feedback to others, and not trying to help them. Another thing to note is that if someone is trying to give you some feedback, do not reject them! Don't just dismiss their advice and try to really listen to what they are telling you. There is always room for improvement. Also, if someone is just giving you negative feedback, try not to take it the wrong way. Ask them to show you what you can do better. This will allow them to help you out, and in turn you'll have taught them a bit about giving constructive feedback!